I was walking with my mom to the church when she realized that her blouse was unbuttoned on its sleeves. She tried buttoning it herself, but after a while realized that she was incapable of doing it herself, so I had to do it for her. I also have a blouse which has a drawstring on its sleeves which I find very difficult to tie into a ribbon. Many gowns have a zipper running on one’s spine, which makes you have to contort in order to zip it up. Most chain bracelets and necklaces are difficult to wear. These things made me dwell on the thought of how the ineptitude of some human designs and inventions can be the very same reason that men are drawn together. It made me think that man can never live in total isolation because at one point or another, he will realize the need for a companion.
We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.
-Orson Welles
As cited by Hatala, R.J, Loneliness and Aloneness
One of my psychology textbooks says that one may be alone without necessarily feeling lonely. True that. (And isn’t it also true, that despite being in company, one may still feel lonely?)
Taking it from Orson Welles – we are born alone, we live alone, we die alone. I do not think that this is to imply morbidity because to be ‘alone’ may after all be a positive thing. To be alone may mean to be unique. To be alone may mean to be in solitude, and thus be in peace. Aloneness may be an exercise of independence. And perhaps, to realize the beauty of being alone is wise.
However, although seeing solitude and aloneness as a gift, I still believe that the value of good company and relationship remains unsurpassed. Besides, humans are social beings. The very reason that the woman existed is the seemingly needy state of the man. Likewise, the very design of the woman is made to complement the man, thus, a woman alone would also signify fruitlessness, insufficiency.
Supposing that God is indeed perfect, it is odd that even in the first book of the Bible, God is portrayed as though He lacked foresight. Was it because God was making man in His effigy that the man was built alone, because God Himself did not feel the need for a companion? I really believe that Eve was created neither because Adam was feeling lonely nor because life is insufferable alone. Instead, because God is perfect, he just knew how to make things better. And always, man is better with someone. In Adam’s case, he was better with a woman than alone.
Is it a human instinct to revert to being alone? Is this the same reason why we create an artificial environment which makes it feasible for an solitary lifestyle?
We put doorknobs and locks on our doors, so we could secure our houses while we’re gone and no one is around. Then we would just unlock it up when we come home…
…but would it not be better if we had someone to open the door for us, and welcome us home?
We have alarm clocks to shock us up and resurrect us from our deep slumbers…
…but would it not be a great to have a voice to wake us up instead?
We have instant noodles and microwaveable meals so we can grab an immediate bite…
…but would it not be comforting to have a warm meal someone took time to prepare?
Life continues to become increasingly complex and technology, more advanced. Man is continually enabled to live alone and independently. But hopefully someday, we will leave our inventions imperfect as they are, because we secretly enjoy the company of someone who will make us not mind these imperfections.
We can live alone, but it’s so much better if we have someone to share that life with. And yes, we will die alone – but what lifts death from darkness is if we realize that have lived for someone.
____________________________
Such a clutter-brain I am. Hope I got the message across though. I just don’t know what to do with these thoughts so I decided to share them.
